Release Date: February 20th, 1961
Directed by: Poul Bang (Danish version), Sidney W. Pink (English version)
Written by: Ib Melchior, Sidney W. Pink
Music by: Sven Gyldmark
Cast: Carl Ottosen, Ann Smyrner, Mimi Heinrich, Dirch Passer
Saga Studios, American International Pictures, 81 Minutes
Reptilicus is what happens when the Danish think that they can make their own knockoff of Godzilla. While I can’t blame them, as other countries have tried the same thing but this non-Japanese kaiju flick is on a whole nother level of sucktitude.
To start, the creature looks worse than a rubber dinosaur you’d find on the bottom shelf of a gas station for a dollar. It’s not particularly cool or scary or even threatening. It is a sort of rubbery wet dragon looking thing with a long neck, little hands and a fat body. It doesn’t look very mobile and it actually isn’t. Godzilla would probably use Reptilicus as a bean bag chair while commanding its head to slither into the kitchen to fetch some snacks.
Reptilicus also has a stupid power. He spits some sort of neon green glop which doesn’t seem to do much other than visually creating an artistic transition from scene-to-scene. So really, his power just makes the film’s editors’ lives easier.
The movie is also bogged down by the stupidity of a character named Peterson who is a goofy lumberjack looking guy who acts like that unfunny asshole Jerry Lewis. He is actually Dirch Passer who is some famous Danish comedian. Just imagine watching a Godzilla picture and all of a sudden, for no reason whatsoever, Jerry Lewis walks into a scene to be a spastic moron making funny faces.
Reptilicus is a poorly made film. It is one of the worst Godzilla knockoffs ever made and there are a ton. But at least it finally gets its just desserts being that it is featured in the first episode of the revived Mystery Science Theater 3000.
While this deserves to be run through the Cinespiria Shitometer, it isn’t as bad as the other films I’ve put through it before reviewing this one. Weirdly, I like the film for its strange flaws and hokey effects. Horrible monsters have a place in my heart for some reason. So I would categorize Reptilicus as a Type 2 stool, which is defined as “Sausage-shaped but lumpy.”