Film Review: Horrors of Spider Island (1960)

Also known as: Ein Toter hing im Netz, lit. A Dead One Hung in the Web (West Germany), Body In the Web
Release Date: April 16th, 1960
Directed by: Fritz Böttger
Written by: Fritz Böttger
Music by: Willi Mattes, Karl Bette
Cast: Alexander D’Arcy, Barbara Valentin, Rainer Brandt, Harald Maresch

Rapid-Film Intercontinental Filmgesellschaft, 82 Minutes

Review:

Horrors of Spider Island was featured in the final season of Mystery Science Theater 3000. While it is a putrid film, it did provide a lot of fodder for a great episode of MST3K.

There isn’t anything good a person of taste could say about Horrors of Spider Island. Some of the girls are fairly pretty but nothing to write home about. The women in the film feel like they were pulled out of a bargain basement mail order bride catalog from the Eastern Bloc. They could have been two-for-one specials but that’s fine because in this sort of film, you don’t expect most of them to survive.

We have two monsters in this picture.

The first monster is a giant spider that looks like a generic Muppet that had 8 appendages stapled to it and then ran through an acid bath. Well, it isn’t a giant by human standards, it is just a really large spider. It is probably the size of a really large raccoon.

The second monster is the guy who gets bit by the spider. He is a sort of furry-faced freak in street clothes. He also sports some long furry spider arms that he uses to slowly creep out of bushes creating anything but scares.

Ultimately, not as many people die in this as you would hope. Maybe guys on the film crew fell in love with their mail order brides and didn’t want to off them.

Horrors of Spider Island is far from fantastic. I have always loved island monster movies but this dud just doesn’t deliver, in any way. I also like hokey monsters but they didn’t even try in this movie. I could have made more convincing creatures with just rubber cement and clipped hair from the floor of a barber shop.

All that being said, it is still worth a watch if you check out the MST3K version.

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