Film Review: Fever Lake (1996)

Also known as: Demon Kid
Release Date: 1996
Directed by: Rafe M. Portilo
Written by: Jalee Bailey, Michael Edwards
Music by: Robert J. Walsh
Cast: Corey Haim, Mario Lopez, Bo Hopkins

ETD Distribution Company, 90 Minutes

Review:

When a film can only get one Corey, you know it must be pretty friggin’ atrocious. Granted, the Coreys were in some decent movies in the 1980s but their careers really stopped there.

Fever Lake is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. I truly mean that. I mean, I have seen thousands, if not tens-of-thousands, of movies in my lifetime, thus far. This shit stain in cinematic history is on my short list of worst films ever.

The story sees a bunch of lame thirty year-olds posing as college kids hanging out in a lake house and on a dock just moping about everything but constantly reminding themselves about what a great time their having. Its like the world’s most depressing Mike’s Hard Lemonade commercial ever. Then a bunch of confusing shit happens involving a Native American dude, a wolf, a bubbling lake, a zombie lady, an axe murderer and glowing eyes.

The film is a mess, makes no sense and was a complete waste of celluloid.

How can a movie with so much shit stuffed into it, have absolutely nothing happen for the first 70 minutes of its 90 minute run time? Who wrote this chum bucket full of Corey diarrhea?

I kind of feel bad for Mario Lopez because A.C. Slater was cooler than both Coreys combined, right? Yet here he is, playing second fiddle to the least coolest Corey. While I don’t think Corey Feldman makes a lot of good decisions, staying away from this picture was probably the best decision he ever made. Maybe this is why Corey Haim had beef with him for awhile, because Feldman proved he had more sense.

I wanted to run this through the Cinespiria Shitometer but it told me that if I even tried it would transform into a Decepticon and kick my ass. So let’s just leave this film, knowing that it wasn’t even worthy of my trusty sidekick the Cinespiria Shitometer.

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