Film Review: Death Note (2017)

Release Date: August 25th, 2017
Directed by: Adam Wingard
Written by: Charles Parlapanides, Vlas Parlapanides, Jeremy Slater
Based on: Death Note by Tsugumi Ohba, Takeshi Obata
Music by: Atticus Ross, Leopold Ross
Cast: Nat Wolff, Margaret Qualley, Keith Stanfield, Paul Nakauchi, Shea Wingham, Willem Dafoe

Vertigo Entertainment, Witten Pictures, Lin Pictures, Viz Pictures, 100 Minutes

Review:

“You’re the one who flew into the sun, I’m just here to make sure you burn!” – L

This review is going to start with a bit of a rant.

When the trailer for this dropped, people seemed outraged over the “whitewashing” of this remake of a famous Japanese manga, anime and live action television show. I mean, if there is a Hollywood version of anything from another culture, isn’t whitewashing pretty much assumed?

The whole point of a Hollywood version of a famous foreign property is to make a version that appeals to American audiences, which, from Hollywood’s viewpoint, is young white people that are most familiar with young white people. Should that change? Yeah, maybe. And I think that change is already happening due to backlash from the drooling whiners in the American public.

Do these same people get offended when Bollywood rips off every American pop culture thing and makes a very Indian version of it? I’m not. I think a lot of that stuff is fantastic and I encourage their creativity, musical prowess and sweet dance moves.

For people who don’t like this Hollywood approach or are cripplingly offended by it, you can make the choice not to watch or support the film. Hell, just cancel your Netflix subscription and bury your face in your manga collection.

That being said, I am not offended by this and I expected it. If you didn’t, you’re an idiot.

With Death Note, I was a fan of the anime, I never read the manga and still haven’t seen the live action show, but I wanted to at least give this a chance. Sometimes these “whitewashed” Hollywood remakes can actually produce great results. Look at The Departed for instance, not that I am taking anything away from its source material, the Hong Kong crime epic Infernal Affairs.

Unfortunately, this film sucked in every way possible.

The main problem with the movie is that they tried to shoehorn in as much plot as possible. It was a big giant mess with absolutely no character development or emotion. You don’t care about a single person in this film and you are just kind of waiting for Willem Dafoe’s Ryuk to show up because he’s the only decent thing about the film.

Being on Netflix, this would have worked much better as a ten-to-twelve episode television season and even then, spread out over a few seasons. The whole movie feels like a 100 minute recap trailer.

Additionally, the cast didn’t really do much for me. The main kid was pretty awful. In fact, he screams like a hysterical girl to the point that he usurped Jesse from A Nightmare On Elm Street 2 as the most effeminate male protagonist in horror history that wasn’t intended to be gay or feminine. He made Jesse from Elm Street 2 look like Ron Swanson with a moose in a headlock. Total fucking pansy in the worst way possible. At least the girl in the film had some balls.

But really, that main actor’s terrifying screams in the beginning actually made me think that this film was intended to be a comedy. I really thought this because that’s how much of an overacting hysterical banshee this guy was.

The film score was done by Atticus Ross, who often times is a collaborator with Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails. The score was pretty striking and good but the choice of 80s pop music tunes was a bizarre one. Not that it didn’t utilize some great 80s tunes but their placement in certain scenes didn’t fit and became more of a distraction.

What else is there to talk about with this film? Not much. It was a rushed mess with bad acting a horrible script and nothing to emotionally attach to. But Willem Dafoe was cool. Willem Dafoe is always cool.

All this being said, Death Note must be run through the Cinespiria Shitometer. The results read, “Type 5 Stool: Soft blobs with clear-cut edges (passed easily).”

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