Video Game Review: Hungry Shark Evolution (Phones & Tablets)

*written in 2014.

More violent than Jaws and more scientifically inaccurate than the Discovery Channel’s Shark Week, Hungry Shark Evolution is a true revolution and revelation in shark simulators! Granted, I only know of the two Jaws games and don’t know if you could play as a shark in anything else.

You start out as a small reef shark and you have to work your way up as you power-up through the game. How do you power-up? Eat everything in sight! Well, as a reef shark, you can’t eat everything – just small stuff. As your size increases and your subspecies improves, you can eat bigger stuff. As I said, you start as a reef shark but then can upgrade to a mako, a hammerhead, a tiger shark and a great white shark. Once you max out the great white, you can become the long extinct megalodon! There are also some bonus sharks you can unlock that have weird powers like electricity and freezing. I personally don’t need all that shit, as I’d rather swallow boats whole as a megalodon.

This is one of the few tablet or smartphone games that kept me interested all the way through. I started small and worked my way up till the end, as the reward of playing as a megalodon was too good to pass up. Of course, after hours of trashing and eating everything as the monstrous shark, I then started to get bored. Kind of like how God must feel after millions of years of wiping us out with floods and plagues. Actually, we probably haven’t had a good plague in thousands of years because God is playing another game now.

This game is friggin’ tits. It is also free. It is also 2014 so you, the reader, own a tablet and/or a smartphone. There is absolutely no reason whatsoever that you shouldn’t download this game.

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