Film Review: Logan Lucky (2017)

Release Date: August 9th, 2017 (Knoxville premiere)
Directed by: Steven Soderbergh
Written by: Rebecca Blunt
Music by: David Holmes
Cast: Channing Tatum, Adam Driver, Seth MacFarlane, Riley Keough, Katie Holmes, Katherine Waterston, Dwight Yoakam, Sebastian Stan, Hilary Swank, Daniel Craig, Brian Gleeson, David Denman, LeAnn Rimes, Jeff Gordon, Carl Edwards, Kyle Busch, Brad Keselowski, Joey Logano, Kyle Larson, Ryan Blaney

Fingerprint Releasing, Bleecker Street, 119 Minutes

Review:

“Derp! Derp! Derp!” – the whole cast

It wasn’t until I was sitting in my chair that I realized that this was a Soderbergh film. However, while I’ve never been a fan of his work, I’ll give just about anything a chance. Also, I didn’t want to waste my popcorn. Had I known this was Soderbergh’s work, I would’ve gone to see The Hitman’s Bodyguard instead.

However, giving the film an honest chance worked to my disadvantage and about a third of the way into my popcorn, it was stale and ground up shitty bits. At least I got the points on my Regal rewards card though.

This film is essentially a white trash Ocean’s 11. Some people may think that sounds funny or cool but it isn’t. Then again, I’m in the minority in thinking that those Oceans movies are awful. Also, the hillbilly is played up so much that it plays as more ridiculous and offensive than funny. But I guess that has something to do with the direction, over acting and the fact that there aren’t any good jokes in the script. I mean, it tries to be funny and charming but it doesn’t come close. The film is pretty much an emotional dud full of one-dimensional hillbilly caricatures.

I guess critics love this thing though, as it has a 93 percent on Rotten Tomatoes at the time that I’m writing this. But Steven Soderbergh is a darling to the elitist film experts that are still, for some reason, impressed with his 1989 debut Sex, Lies, and Videotape – a film that’s status I have never understood. The title was misleading as hell too. When I was twelve, I rented the movie expecting some serious boobage. The film only lives up to the “Lies” part of its title as it wasn’t filmed on “Videotape” and featured no “Sex”. At least, not the supreme boobage that I thought was guaranteed by the title.

Logan Lucky is the least funny attempt at a funny movie that I have seen in quite some time. Also, there just wasn’t that much action and the film was actually quite fucking boring. This didn’t need to be two hours. The film could have been whittled down to 80 minutes and been filled with better jokes and feature a bit of action and it would have been a pretty decent time killer.

I feel bad for the talented cast, having wasted their efforts on this piece of shit. But then again, they work in Hollywood so they probably share the same sentiment that Soderbergh is some sort of auteur mastermind.

All things considered, I have to run this turkey through the Cinespiria Shitometer. The results read, “Type 3 Stool: Like a sausage but with cracks on its surface.”

Film Review: It Comes At Night (2017)

Release Date: April 29th, 2017 (Timberline Lodge premiere)
Directed by: Trey Edward Shults
Written by: Trey Edwards Shults
Music by: Brian McOmber
Cast: Joel Edgerton, Christopher Abbott, Carmen Ejogo, Kelvin Harrison Jr., Riley Keough

Animal Kingdom, A24, 91 Minutes

Review:

“You can’t trust anyone but family.” – Paul

I went into this movie really knowing nothing about it. I never saw a trailer for it and it came out and got lost in the shuffle of the summer blockbusters. However, I did notice its pretty high rating on Rotten Tomatoes and thought it was a horror film worth checking out.

While considered horror, it really isn’t. It is more of a dark thriller with some mystery. There aren’t really any monsters or creatures to worry about and the title and marketing of the film are pretty misleading, in my opinion. Yes, there is a lot of nighttime darkness in the film but there is no clear indication of what “It” is. And really, “It” doesn’t exist. The real threat is what happens when people with good intentions can’t trust one another and are overcome by paranoia. If that is the “It” from the title, it’s a massive disappointment.

The film, like its title, is full of red herrings. So many red herrings in fact that it becomes tedious keeping up with them and ultimately, none of them matter. The story opens up a lot of avenues and mysteries to explore but then never goes down those paths. While the film does a great job of reeling you in and building suspense for the first 90 percent, the last 10 percent is an anticlimactic clusterfuck that makes most of that previous 90 percent inconsequential and pointless.

The idea behind this film also isn’t anything new. These ideas and these aspects of human nature have been explored in just about every episode of The Walking Dead, and much more effectively. Hell, we’ve seen this story play out in countless zombies movies and really anything that is set in a post-apocalyptic world.

The positives of the film aren’t enough to save it.

The acting is pretty good but most of that is due to Joel Edgerton, who impresses me more and more with each picture, taking on the bulk of the acting duties. His son, played by Kelvin Harrison Jr., does a good job being the eyes and emotion of the audience but he doesn’t really get to evolve or explore his character other than emotionally reacting to his world and his loved ones crumbling around him.

The cinematography is also a strong positive. While it isn’t anything groundbreaking, the tone of the film is probably the most effective thing about it. The house is welcoming during the day but a dark and dreadful place at night. The long dark corridor to the back door is really a character all its own.

I can’t say that I was disappointed with the film, as I went into it blindly and without expectations. However, as it rolled on, my expectations rose only to have them slapped back down when the climax arrived.

Film Review: Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

Release Date: May 7th, 2015 (TCL Chinese Theatre premiere)
Directed by: George Miller
Written by: George Miller, Brendan McCarthy, Nico Lathouris
Music by: Junkie XL
Cast: Tom Hardy, Charlize Theron, Nicholas Hoult, Hugh Keays-Byrne, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Riley Keough, Zoe Kravitz, Abbey Lee, Courtney Eaton

Village Roadshow Pictures, Kennedy Miller Mitchell, RatPac-Dune Entertainment, Warner Bros. Pictures, 120 Minutes

Review:

*originally written in 2015.

This film is difficult to review.

I mean, being a lifelong avid film buff, I can only compare the task of reviewing this film to some crazed Evangelical Christian having to write a review of the Bible. Can a film be perfect? It is very fucking rare. Was this perfect? It is as close as anything I have seen in a very long time. This could honestly be the best film of this decade. It is certainly the best summer blockbuster film of this decade.

You see, the original Mad Max trilogy is an amazing thing. Those films are all great in their own way. Mel Gibson was prefect. But this film is something else entirely.

This is an homage to the original three films, a sort of reboot/sequel but ultimately, its own thing and a perfect amalgamation of all the things that made each of the original movies great on their own. It also offers up its own powerful ideas and vision and takes things further than any of the previous films could go, whether due to budget or because this film took George Miller decades to make. Having had three great films in this series, as templates and as trial and error efforts, this film took Miller’s life’s work and his direction and showed us what is possible if an artist is able to truly make the masterpiece they have intended all along. Balls to the wall, all out, motherfucking mayhem.

If this hasn’t set the bar higher in Hollywood, well.. fuck Hollywood.

Mad Max: Fury Road has proven that you can have an R-rated blockbuster and not have to cater to seemingly mindless PG-13 audiences. Also, the theater wasn’t full of a bunch of yapping kids muffled by Iron Man masks.

This is the big film that men have wanted since film became a neutered art form. This reminds me of all the things that made the original Robocop and the R-rated Schwarzenegger and Stallone films of the 80s so great. It had more testosterone than the last twenty minutes of Death Wish 3 after it pounded a few bottles of low-t medication and jacked off with a porterhouse in hand. This is a manly man’s film, through and through. It is high art in cinematic form for every man’s inner Neanderthal. It is like a Chuck Norris fist to the balls where the fist’s fingers are made up of little Bruce Lees. It made me sprout hair in places I didn’t know it could grow.

Tom Hardy was pretty damned good as the new Max Rockatansky. I will always feel that it is Mel Gibson’s role but the legacy is in perfectly capable hands going forward. Charlize Theron may have been her greatest in this film. She also had more lines and was more central to the plot than Max was. It is almost as if this was her movie and Max was along for the ride. But isn’t that Max’s modus operandi? He wanders around, stumbles upon some shit, rides the lightning and then wanders off again.

The use of colors and design in this film were amazing. The costumes were top notch, the set design was marvelous and this post-apocalyptic world that I got to traverse through with our heroes, was colorful and refreshingly vivid for being in the middle of such a desolate and bleak environment.

I actually don’t want to delve into too many details with this review because I think everyone should go see this movie. If, for some bizarre ass reason, you don’t find this film to be a tour de force of blazing machine gun testicles, something is seriously wrong with you. This film features enough bad ass action and intensity to satisfy any man and enough tough as nails female characters to inspire any woman.

Looking at what else is supposed to come out this summer, the rest of this blockbuster season is going to suck. Nothing will top this. In fact, Mad Max: Fury Road just magnifies all the things wrong with Avengers: Age of Ultron and every other big budget film I’ve seen in recent memory.

I may just go see this film again and again, every weekend it is still in theaters.