Film Review: Godzilla vs. The Wolfman (1983)

Also known as: Densetsu-no Kyoju Ookami Otoko tai Gojira, lit. Legendary Beast Wolfman Against Godzilla (Japan)
Release Date: Never released in a completed form (made in 1983)
Directed by: Shizuo Nakajima
Written by: unknown
Based on: Godzilla by Toho Co. Ltd., The Wolf Man by Universal Pictures
Music by: Akira Ifukube (stock music)
Cast: unknown

Unknown Running Time (about 15 Minutes has been released)

Review:

Godzilla vs. The Wolfman is a motion picture that was never completed. So I guess it is hard to review the film as a full body of work but being a big fan of Godzilla and the Wolf Man, as well as kaiju movies and “what ifs”, I had always been curious about this unfinished film.

This has been something that I’ve heard about for a few years but wasn’t sure whether or not it was some wild rumor or actually true. Well, I have now seen the footage that still exists and even shared it below, as opposed to the typical trailer I throw at the end of my film reviews.

From what I know of the plot, there is a werewolf loose in Japan. He happens to get irradiated and thus, grows to kaiju size. Godzilla crosses paths with this new menace and a big battle ensues. Godzilla is more similar to the ’50s Godzilla and what we would see a year after this in The Return of Godzilla. What I mean by that, is he isn’t the happy and heroic kid friendly kaiju of the late ’60s and early ’70s, he is more of a badass that doesn’t really care whether or not he ruins your town.

The werewolf transformation looks a lot like what was done in An American Werewolf In London and The Howling, a few years before this was made. For limited resources and not being made by an actual studio, it isn’t half bad.

The full-size giant Wolf Man suit is pretty damn cool. He looks like a white, arctic wolf and resembles a lynx more than an actual wolf but I dig it. As a monster, he is certainly very different than anything Godzilla has faced before. I love the unique take on the classic Wolf Man character. I guess he would be most similar to King Caesar from 1974’s Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla but even then, he is his own kaiju.

While this film did employ several people who had worked on Godzilla pictures before and after this, this was not being made by Toho like all the other films. This was essentially a fan film made by real kaiju movie makers.

Filming started in 1983 and went into the mid-’80s. The editing, sound design and visual effects production is still ongoing from what I’ve read. Currently, the clips that exist have Akira Ifukube’s old school Godzilla scores mixed into the action. I’m not sure if it is a place holder for something else to come or if this will even be completed. It’s hard to say but director Shizuo Nakajima claims that there is over ten hours of raw footage.

It is really well done for what it is and seeing it actually come together one day would be really cool. I just don’t know if Toho would ever allow that, as they’re very protective of the Godzilla brand.

As for now, I guess the world will have to enjoy the only footage that exists but at least we have something real to look at, as opposed to just rumors and speculation as to whether or not this film was just legend or fact.

Rating: 6/10
Pairs well with: It’s pretty unique as a Godzilla movie but the tone is probably most like 1984’s The Return of Godzilla.

 

Comic Review: Kaijumax Season One: Terror and Respect

Published: March 8th, 2016
Written by: Zander Cannon
Art by: Zander Cannon

Oni Press, 168 Pages

Review:

I love kaiju. I love comics. So how about a comic about kaiju?

I’ve heard good things about Zander Cannon’s past work and I laso heard good things about this series.

Unfortunately, and I am just as surprised as anyone, but this just didn’t resonate with me. It was very childlike in its art, which is fine but it just wasn’t my cup of tea. It was also very humorous and while I appreciate all the subtle references to other things within the kaiju genre, it wasn’t my sort of comedy.

I liked the concept, I liked the ideas, I even liked some of the characters but the story just doesn’t seem to stay on the rails very well.

This is more of an homage to the Ultraman pocket of the kaiju universe than say Godzilla or Gamera. I liked that too, as everyone wants to milk Godzilla to death and Ultraman is pretty underappreciated in Western culture. But ultimately, I’d rather just read an Ultraman story with a style of humor similar to what I like about that franchise’s comedic side.

Kaijumax was still a worthwhile experience because I love kaiju. This does resonate with others from what I’ve seen online, as far as reviews and reactions to it. I’m probably the odd man out and other kaiju fans will disagree with me.

Rating: 5/10
Pairs well with: Other releases in this series and also the IDW Godzilla comics, although those aren’t nearly as comedic.

Film Review: Big Man Japan (2007)

Also known as: Dai-Nihonjin (original Japanese title), The Demon, The Electric Man, The Man of Electricity (Alternate Japanese English titles)
Release Date: June 2nd, 2007 (Japan)
Directed by: Hitoshi Matsumoto
Written by: Hitoshi Matsumoto, Mitsuyoshi Takasu
Music by: Tōwa Tei
Cast: Hitoshi Matsumoto, Riki Takeuchi, Ua, Ryūnosuke Kamiki

Phantom Film, Shochiku, 113 Minutes

Review:

Some movies are so bizarre and unique that they sort of just exist on their own and there isn’t much you can compare them to. Big Man Japan is one of those movies.

The film is sort of a parody of the kaiju and tokusatsu genres in Japan. It is filmed in a documentary style and follows Masaru Daisatō, who is his generation’s version of Japan’s protector, Big Man Japan. BMJ, as I’ll call him for short, is a regular man that when electrocuted, grows to kaiju size and fights off evil kaiju that happen to show up and wreck havoc in Japan’s urban areas. The twist, is that Masuro doesn’t really care all that much about his duty and is sort of a lonely drunk that doesn’t have much to do when he isn’t called into action. When the action does happen, he’s pretty out of shape and not very good at his job. Masuro has a wife and child, who he barely sees, as well as a manager that takes advantage of him and sells his body to advertisers while she reaps the benefits and Masuro continues to live near poverty level.

The majority of the film is about Masuro’s life but there are plenty of kaiju battles between BMJ and a bunch of different monsters, each of which is incredibly strange and very original. We don’t have a rehash of GodzillaUltramanKamen Rider or Super Sentai styled giant beasts, Instead, we get humanoid looking giants with weird deformities and unusual powers. There’s a hugging monster, a stink monster, an infant monster, an eyeball tossing monster and a bunch of others. Each battle is different and entertaining but ultimately lead to BMJ fudging it up in some way. The final monster is a devil that BMJ can’t handle but he ends up having help from a family of giant space heroes that are an obvious parody of the heroes from Ultraman. In fact, that whole battle switches to an Ultraman styled fight once those heroes show up. It is a fitting and satisfying ending to the film, especially for fans of the Ultraman franchise.

The special effects aren’t great and are pretty silly looking. The battles aren’t a huge part of the movie, even though there are a lot of them, but the effects during those battles initially pulls you out of the film due to their lack of realism when compared to the documentary style of the rest of the film. However, after a battle or two, you adjust to the effects and they start to work just fine. Besides, they fit within the more modern tokusatsu style but may look cheap and unrefined to someone comparing this to an American blockbuster.

Hitoshi Matsumoto starred in, directed and wrote this film. He exceeded in each task and gave us something highly enjoyable, goofy and really, original. That’s hard to do but Matsumoto really hit it out of the park for his first feature length motion picture.

Big Man Japan might not resonate with everyone and it certainly only speaks to a particular audience, which is pretty minuscule in the United States, but it is so outside of the box that it is a worthy experience for those just wanting something different. I really like the film but I also love the kaiju and tokusatsu genres.

Rating: 7.5/10
Pairs well with: General tokusatsu television programs from the era.

Book Review: ‘Ready Player One: A Novel’ by Ernest Cline

I have heard great things about this book for a few years now. I have meant to read it but life is a busy bitch most of the time. However, I definitely wanted to experience and know the book before the Steven Spielberg film adaptation of it hit theaters, which happens later this month.

I didn’t really know what to expect but I did know that the film primarily takes place in a virtual world and was littered with a shit ton of pop culture references, primarily from the 1980s. I grew up at the same time as the author (and the genius mastermind who built an empire in the book) and I knew that this would mostly likely jive with me.

It’s a book that really taps into the nostalgia of the 1980s and for someone who was there, it is really hard to avoid getting sucked into this tale. Cline wrote this with a lot of passion and it mirrors the passion I had, as well as my friends, back in the ’80s when we were experiencing all of these things first hand. Nostalgia alone can’t carry a story, however.

Although, with or without nostalgia as a real driving force in the creative direction of this book, the characters were all very good and you cared for them and their quest. Wade, the main character, really reflected a lot of myself and I’m sure Ernest Cline, in his love and appreciation for all of these pop culture things. He also reflected back who my friends were in childhood and in my teen years.

Wade’s friends were sort of a combination of typical ’80s kids mixed with the social norms of modern times, as nowadays, many people only know each other online and haven’t actually met in person. Not that that’s actually a bad thing but the book makes a point to remind us all to step outside of the OASIS (the virtual world) and to truly connect with people in the flesh. In fact, an important piece of advice is given to Wade at the end, and that is that true happiness can only be found “out there” (the real physical world).

Wade does find happiness but he finds much more than that too. He has to deal with tragedy, loss, a truly broken heart and the weight of the world being on his shoulders. While his goal is to win the contest within the story, his true goal is to save the digital world from a corporate giant who seeks to exploit it for profit and in effect, control everything in the real world due to how tied into the OASIS everyone has become.

There is a big ’80s pop culture boom going on, right now. Especially after the success of Stranger ThingsIt and other shows and films that sort of bring people back to that era from a childlike point of view. Ready Player One came out at the perfect time and maybe it will open the door to that cultural era for younger generations to appreciate.

I liked this book for a lot of reasons. But after reading it, I can’t really envision how this can even translate to screen. Sure, I’ve seen the trailers and they’ve got me pretty excited but this is such a unique story that I can’t imagine that adapting it won’t be an immense challenge, even for a legend like Steven Spielberg. I guess we’ll see in less than a month’s time how this pans out.

I’m not a big fan of dropping spoilers but sometimes it is unavoidable in a review. However, I’m not going to say how or when or why but this book has one of the most badass moments in literary history when Ultraman shows up to battle Mechagodzilla. I mean, holy f’n shit, that whole sequence in the book had me smiling like Aech after being exposed to Smylex hygiene products.

Rating: 7.5/10
Pairs well with: Just about every pop culture reference wedged between its covers.

Film Review: All Monsters Attack (1969)

Also known as: Gojira-Minira-Gabara: Oru kaijû daishingeki, lit. Godzilla’s Revenge (Japan)
Release Date: December 20th, 1969 (Japan)
Directed by: Ishirō Honda
Written by: Shinichi Sekizawa
Music by: Kunio Miyauchi
Cast: Tomonori Yazaki, Kenji Sahara, Machiko Naka

Toho, 69 Minutes

Review:

All Monsters Attack a.k.a. Godzilla’s Revenge is a film that a lot of people hate. And I’m not talking just people… I’m talking about actual fans of Godzilla. I guess because the film is just some little boy’s fantasy and most of the action is comprised of stock footage from the battles that took place in earlier films. Whatever, I still like this picture and I’ll explain why.

First of all, it’s a f’n Godzilla movie in an era where the franchise was the most magical and fun. Secondly, it’s about a bullied kid trying to work out his problems for himself, even if he becomes a bit of a dick at the end. Thirdly, the film is the boy’s fantasy but what young fan of the “King of Monsters” didn’t fantasize about the monster? Fourthly, aren’t all the Godzilla films just someone else’s fantasy, anyway? Fifthly, maybe the stock footage used in the boy’s fantasies is really just his memories of the battles he’s already witnessed, as we the audience have?

But I guess people hate Godzilla’s son Minya too but I’ve never figured out why. Sure, he’s goofy and odd. He looks like the Pillsbury Doughboy sans hat and covered in sculptor’s clay. But to a person that experienced the Godzilla franchise as a kid, he sort of represented all of us because which kid din’t want to go into battle alongside Godzilla? And if he wasn’t bizarre enough to begin with, he actually shrinks down to human boy size and talks with the kid in this movie. In fact, they become quick chums, as both are trying to deal with their own bully.

This is also one of those Godzilla island movies, which are some of my favorite because I’ve always loved the style and culture of the Pacific Islands and the Tiki aesthetic overall. Sure, these films were done in this style for budgetary reasons, as crushing giant cities in every movie became really expensive, but the style of these pictures has always worked for me and made them more fantastical.

This is a silly movie but that’s okay. The Godzilla films weren’t all that serious after the first one, anyway. This is also a really short picture at a meager 70 minutes. But it packs in a lot of action, has the kid foil the plot of bank robbers and overcome his bully nemesis.

Now I can’t say that this is a great movie or even a very good one but I enjoy it almost because of its cheapness, its flaws and its oddness. I can see why people dismiss this film but I like feel good stories and I’ve watched all of these films so many times that the stock footage bits sort of just happen without it really pulling me out of the story. And with all of this happening within a little boy’s imagination, actually makes the stock footage material work.

Rating: 6/10
Pairs well with: Other Godzilla island movies: Son of GodzillaEbirah, Horror of the Deep, etc.

Comic Review: Godzilla In Hell

Published: March 1st, 2016
Written by: James Stokoe, Bob Eggleton, Ulises Farinas, Erick Freitas, Dave Wachter, Brandon Seifert
Art by: James Stokoe, Bob Eggleton, Dave Wachter, Buster Moody, Ibrahim Moustafa
Based on: Godzilla by Toho Co. Ltd.

IDW Publishing, 120 Pages

Review:

I’ve only read one other Godzilla comic book series and that was Rulers of Earth. This was put out by IDW Publishing, just as Rulers was and frankly, seeing the “King of Monsters” take on whatever Hell has in store for him, was worth checking out.

Sadly, I was pretty underwhelmed by this.

As you can imagine, with a story that just features Godzilla rampaging through Hell, there really isn’t any dialogue. Well, there’s some narrative bits and a Moth angel thing talks, as does a demon for a second, but for the most part, this is just Godzilla rampaging through Hell and that’s about it.

You’d think that the premise would create an awesome and epic story and while Godzilla does encounter some of his toughest foes, he actually fights King Ghidorah and Destoroyah at the same time, the narrative plays out like a disjointed, surreal dream sequence. It jumps around from bit to bit and all the battles end up being interrupted by Godzilla falling into a deeper layer of Hell or getting whisked away to some other place, geographically.

Also, the art is a mixture of good and bad. It is mostly pretty decent but there are some panels that look pretty hokey and outdated by decades.

This was an interesting and quick read, which flew by even quicker with barely any dialogue in the story. It’s certainly not a must read but if you are a massive Godzilla fan, it’s worth checking out if you can find a free copy or borrow it from someone. I read it for free because I have ComiXology Unlimited.

Rating: 6/10
Pairs well with: It’s pretty unique but I guess I’d pair it with the other Godzilla offerings by IDW Publishing.

Film Review: Godzilla: Planet of the Monsters (2017)

Also known as: Gojira: Kaijū Wakusei (original Japanese title)
Release Date: November 17th, 2017 (Japan)
Directed by: Kōbun Shizuno, Hiroyuki Seshita
Written by: Gen Urobuchi
Music by: Takayuki Hattori
Cast: Mamoru Miyano, Takahiro Sakurai, Kana Hanazawa, Yūki Kaji

Toho, 88 Minutes

Review:

While I have been anticipating this since its announcement some time ago, I didn’t have extremely high hopes for it, as there hasn’t really been a Japanese produced Godzilla animated feature before. I’m also not a huge fan of anime but I do regularly return to some of the classics, from time to time. For example, Robotech is one of my most loved things ever.

Well, I’m going to be blunt: this was terrible. It’s slow, it’s boring, everyone in it is extremely unlikable and it has a giant plot hole large enough to suck Godzilla in.

The plot hole made the film pretty unwatchable. I couldn’t just ignore it and it was a testament to how awful the writing was. You see, humans escaped Earth, which has been overrun by kaiju with Godzilla as their king. For decades, the human race has pushed out further and further into the cosmos and in that time, food and oxygen became scarce. People started dying, some committed suicide and most of the humans that fled Earth are already dead at the start of this movie. So, afraid that they’ll never get to the planets that they set out for, an angry kid decides that going back to Earth to fight Godzilla is the best course of action for survival. The humans then use a warp drive to get back to Earth in literally one second. So, all these people died over the course of decades for a trip that took one second with warp drive? And why not then just use the warp drive to get you to your far off destination? At this point, I was already over this stupid fucking movie.

Then there is everything else wrong with it.

The main character is such an unlikable brat you just want to punch him in the dick. I fucking hated this character and wanted him to die as soon as possible. He doesn’t die by the way, the film ends with a moment that tells you that this screaming emo douche will be back, front and center, in this film’s sequel because I guess this is the start of a trilogy.

Another problem is that I (and I’m sure many people) only watched this for Godzilla. You don’t really get to see him, other than quick flashbacks, until the last third of the film. He also looks an awful lot like the most recent American version of Godzilla, as opposed to the dozens or so Japanese versions. Everything up until Godzilla shows up is just drawn out and boring as hell. This just isn’t an exciting movie and once it should be exciting, you don’t care about any of the characters because they all suck. The terrible characters make it so that the action scenes lack any sort of emotion. This is a soulless, terrible, cookie cutter, basic bitch, anime shitshow.

In regards to the animation, I didn’t like the Godzilla character design. Also, the action stuff is a combination of traditional animation and CGI, which seems to be the norm in anime these days and I don’t like it. What I did like about anime, when I was younger, was the talent of the people who drew these films and shows. It’s similar to how I love classic Disney animation but don’t really give a shit about Pixar, even if the stories are good. But just like I prefer practical effects over a ton of unnecessary CGI, I feel the same way with animation. Yes, that’s my personal preference but I know I’m not alone here.

Godzilla: Planet of the Monsters isn’t anything I ever asked for and now having seen it, it isn’t anything that I want. I’ll probably watch the sequels because they are Godzilla movies but I doubt that anything will happen in this series that will make me appreciate them.

This just barely escapes the mechanical maw of the Cinespiria Shitometer. Just barely.